I’m finally doing this. I’m finally publishing this post I wrote about three weeks ago. Anyway, here goes nothing.

It’s been about a week since I started working with this Group, and no, no, I’m not here to rant about how work is or whatnot, personally I believe it’s too early for that. Plus I’m enjoying what I’m doing at the moment so there’s not need for that, or what do think?
“What is she sha here to talk about today?” is probably what will be on your mind by now and I will get to it. This is something that all my Lagos people are well aware of and very familiar with even.

So, as I was saying, these last few days, I have had a very good opportunity to observe Lagos motorists and even cyclists very early in the morning as I find my way to work. Not having to drive has made it very easy to observe as much as I want, and it’s not like I’ve ever driven before sha. From all of my observations I would like to say this that all of us in this Lagos eh we are all moving mad. Falz said it and I agree, “you lots are moving MAD”. From the keke (tricycle) on the road, to that young man that wants to cross the road strolling like it is his father’s parlor, and even to the okada-man (motorcycle rider) that will just come out of nowhere and block the road, all of you, all of you, you are what Falz said.

Anyway, I had a lot to think about with the very terrible traffic we (myself and the lady I carpool with) faced. Oh Lord, please father, never again, amen. I noticed that the number one cause of traffic, especially on work mornings is impatience and right next to that is refusal to apply commonsense. This of course is excluding the fact that our roads are very bad.

On the road you see a lot of things and many people that you will likely never see again in your life, but will somehow impact your life or alter it’s course. It’s true. You can be a level-headed Mr Cool Guy, but you just enter Lagos road, your inner beast will come out. There’s no two ways about it. It is almost like there is a spirit on the road that comes to test your patience in the form of slow drivers or unreasonable pedestrians.

When you want to drive in Lagos, you have to prepare for battle; because in this city you drive with your hands and mouth – that leg part is small work. Hands so that you can do the normal steering thing and also honk tirelessly at those trucks that think it is okay to stay in the middle of the road, and mouth so that you can yell “goat” at the driver that thinks it is just okay to butt his head in your lane without indicating first. And the mindset behind this is, “if I indicate now the driver won’t let me into his lane but if I just ‘chook’ my head small then he will have no choice but to let me in.” This is true story and I’ve lived it. Trust me if you can drive in Lagos, especially in traffic, you can drive anywhere. In fact, there should be certificates given for that.

One of the things, if not the only thing, I like about traffic in Lagos is that you can shop for anything you want. You can even buy a bed on the road! I usually just limit it to sweets, biscuits and chewing gums. But I kid you not, you can buy shirts, shoes, dishes, phones and whatnot in Lagos traffic. They’re probably selling furnitures on some roads that I don’t even know, it’s not beyond my people. If anything, what we all have in common is the zeal to “get this bread” and we all do our best to. And to all the hawkers and roadside sellers, I salute your hustle because, as you all know, the hustle is real.

In doing your best too, there are those that do their best in the very worst ways. On this same Lagos road, there are those that beg you on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, up until Sunday that they just got robbed, and my, my, the drama they put up is well convincing. I mean, who cursed you that it is everyday that you’ll get robbed? God forbid that a person gets robbed and they really need the help, you – the driver – will likely think it is one of those dramas. The professional beggars, that’s what most folks have tagged them, have ultimately ruined things for the innocent victims. With all that drama, you’d think they’d consider a career path in acting. But again, the hustle is real, it’s just that some individuals have channeled their energies in negative ways.

Finally, this Lagos road is so bad… emphasis on so bad. You have to have skills to ply it. The potholes ehh every driver’s nightmare and the joy of mechanics because, na so so customers go dey rush dem (lots of car users will come to them for repairs). I will not bore you with the politics of how our roads never gets fixed or about how the roads get bad just months from fixing them. That talk is for another day.

Anyhoo, I have come to the end of this post and just whew! Lagos is definitely a great fun place to be without all the mess involved. I, for one, can imagine a Lagos without the mess but it will take a lot of work, commitment and collective effort to to get there.

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P.S: I hope you enjoyed reading this because I enjoyed rewriting it for you 😊. So, share with me your Lagos experiences but if you’re not in Lagos and you’ve had similar experiences, I want to hear all of it.
Love you all ❤❤❤❤

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Photo credit: @lagosimages