Okay! Before we start with today’s post, I think I should mention a few things:

1. No, you haven’t read this post before 🙂.

2. Yes it seems familiar, I know. This is because it is one of the 3 incomplete (now complete) drafts from my last post.

3. Do enjoy 😊.

Death is a really funny thing, you know. You’d say hi, hi to a friend, family, co-worker, whomever today and tomorrow you’d wake up to your phone blasting with messages and calls only to hear that they’re gone. Gone. Just like that.

And then you’re sat right where you are wondering, but not really. You’re denying it, “No that can’t be. We texted last night. We even made plans for the weekend,” as if your denial will erase the truth. The truth that they’ve left this plane of existence to the spiritual one.

Then, the following moment you start to really wonder – did I do anything special to deserve this life? Or you think, all the times I wanted to die, I didn’t. But today I wake up and someone I know is gone.

“Why am I here?” you ask. “What have I done to deserve this life? Why not me?”

When you’re done with all that, you will then be hit with the realization of just how short and dare I say fickle this life is. So short that in the next blink of an eye, someone somewhere is dying, getting hit by a car, burning to their death, something – whatever – is going on to end a life.

And then, there you are at 7 am in the morning, sitting on your stairs, hugging yourself as you lean on the railings, shedding silent tears trying to remember your last moments with the person you lost. You try so hard to remember how their face brightened up when they smiled, the sound of their laughter and their voice and it pains you that you would never get to hear it again in real life. You recall all the good times you had together and your chest constricts with sharp pain because you cannot believe you will never live those moments again. You think about the future plans you made, about how you were going to be successful together, but now there’s only one of you that can live out that dream.

Before you even realize it, your silent tears are no longer silent, the cry coming from you is deep and gut wrenching, your right hand is in a fist pounding on where your heart is, try to ease the unimaginable pain. But you see, none of that will work and you have no choice now than to scream out your pain as you shed violent tears.

This very moment your mind will be very cruel on you because in that moment, you will begin to recall all the deaths you’ve experienced in your short lifetime and before you can stop yourself, old wounds are reopened. Now, you have to grieve over each and every loss you have ever experienced which will bring you to the point of questioning yourself again, “Exactly why am I here? What have I done to deserve this life? Why not me?” “Why did you have to go so soon?” “Why couldn’t it just be me?” But, sadly, you may never be able to answer these questions.

However, one truth remains, it will hurt. It will hurt so much you would almost believe you are going to die from the pain, but you won’t. You will find a way around it. You will deal with it in the best healthy way that you can and you are going to survive. You will also realize in the coming weeks that you are way stronger than you ever imagined you were and could ever be. That power will drive you to be better, to live an even happier life – maybe to the memory of the person you lost, or maybe just for yourself.

In another seven years’ time you can talk about them with a lot of joy on your face, with just a little pang of want for them around. And that will be just okay because, you have found a way to live without them being around physically but around in your heart each day. So you are happy.

On holidays, as you have fun with your family, the joy on their faces can only make you reminisce about the good ol’ days. You watch the faces of your children crinkle in laughter because you told them something you and your bestfriend – they never got to meet – did when you were just little kids.There is so much joy and love radiating in the atmosphere, and that just makes you happy and content.

And at last you smile to yourself because, at the end of the day, it is all joy.

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P.S: I really, really hope that you enjoyed this post. What do you think? 😁🤞🏼.

P.S: Did you notice I strayed from my usual writing narrative? I learnt a few tips from The Writing Coach.

Thank you for reading through. 🖤